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Archie the Linemen - Page 6

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NOW LET'S MEET ARCHIE THE POET...

TROUBLE SHOOTER'S HYMN

Praise the Lord, there's no more ammunition
For .22's to disrupt our transmission;
Inner-tubes are also now on ration,
Lessening the sling-shots once in fashion.
Praise the Lord for these two compensators
In favor of preserving insulators.

This is a parody on a popular song of the second world war, Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.

Telephone wires were looped around glass insulators, which made popular targets for kids with slingshots and 22-calibre rifles. Whenever a rock or bullet found its mark Archie would have to climb the pole and replace the insulator. Wartime rationing restricted the manufacture of sporting ammunition and innertubes for slingshots and reduced Archie's workload. In honor of rationing he wrote: Praise the Lord, there's no more ammunition.

QUESTION: What was the purpose of the insulator?

EVEN BIGGER QUESTION: What has happened to all the telephone poles?

Archie wrote this poem about one of his favorite seasons, when the days were warm, roads were dry and driving was easy.

INDIAN SUMMER

Comes a time in the fall that is sweetest
    of all --
  It's the Indian Summer time;
When the hill-sides are warm with color
    and charm
  And the air's like a mellow old chime;
When the mornings are kissed with a
    silvery mist
  And the noon-time is drowsy and still,
When a sweet dreamy haze cloaks the
    autumnal days
  As it hangs over valley and hill.

There's a legend that says this autumnal
    haze
  Is a wraith of the long long ago,
When the Red Man laid claim to Alberta's
    domain
  As he hunted with arrow and bow;
That at this time of year he would slay
    many deer
  To tide him through winter's long
    spell,
And with craft and with skill would
    cure all his kill
  With wood-smoke he understood well.

Dotted over the land the wood fires
    were manned
  By the women of the nomad tribes;
Burnt orange and red the sun overhead
  Set in splendor no mortal describes.
And so to this day the old hunters say
  The haze and the air's mellow chime
Is the ghost-smoke of fires and the past
    that inspires
  The Indian Summer time.



WHAT HAPPENED TO ARCHIE'S MODEL-A

Archie laughed about it, although the joke was more on him than on Wilf Horrocks' sisters. When the car burned up they were not so much in the line of fire as in the line of water. It happened on a Friday evening when Wilf appeared at Archie's door asking for a ride to Hazel Bluff. Wilf worked for AGT in Edmonton but liked to go home to the farm on weekends. The Ford's engine began to clank and sputter as they bounced over the pioneer road in the darkness, and as they rolled into the farm yard and up beneath the kitchen windows the motor shut itself off. Wilf's two sisters came to the open window to watch and give advice as Archie probed for the trouble, and if Wilf hadn't decided to give Archie more light it would never have happened. Wilf held the lantern too close and the car erupted inflame. Wilfs brother Albert came rushing to the rescue but skill is required to aim a pail of water. Albert swung the bucket with amateur enthusiasm and the contents went over the top of the car, through the kitchen window and drenched the sisters.

Even with his car burning up Archie just couldn't help laughing.

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