CALGARY NEXT

Eye Opener Bob
Copyright 1974 Western Producer Book Service
207 pages,
ISBN 0-919306-46-2.

Mother Fulham's Irish responded quickly. "Put up your money. Doctor; I'm betting it's not and here's my dollar."

With that, she pulled off her other stocking and exposed another leg that was, quite obviously, just as dirty. The doctor paid his bet.

Mary Fulham, who was an ideal subject for a newspaper man like Bob Edwards, became well-known beyond Calgary; and even Sir William Van Home, when president of the C.P.Roo had her company forced upon him. Her cow, Nellie, wandered on to the right of way and expected did not come, and when she learned that the president was in the city, she presented herself at his private car and blamed him for the cow's death. Sir William, in defense, ·is reported to have said: "Your cow shouldn't have been on the tracks, you know; we have signs forbidding entrance to the right of way."

"Ye poor damn fool," she replied with an expression of sympathy, "and what makes ye think me pore old cow could read?"

The president weakened and promised her another cow, but still she wasn't satisfied that the C.P.R. could get another cow "as good as my old Nellie."

Bob Edwards, one may be sure, gave Mother Fulham every chance to express her Irish views about Calgary society. He would laugh at her - making his typical belly-giggles - as she expounded about the pink teas, but he was inclined to agree with her. He became her friend and won her trust.

With people like Paddy and Cappie and Mary and others with strong individualism about him, the Calgary days were not likely to be dull. As time passed, Bob was seeing more and more of Paddy Nolan. It was becoming clear that they were good for each other. They had the same sense of humor and both enjoyed the kind of mischief in which no undeserving person was hurt. "It becomes immoral when somebody suffers by it," was their reasoning.

Innocent pranks which added interest to living and sometimes carried a lesson were hard to resist. Bob Edwards could call the Scottish proprietor of one of the "better" restaurants on Stephen Avenue and remark: "I must congratulate you on the skill of your employees, one in particular."

Swelling with pride, the businessman inquired as to which of his helpers had reached such a pinnacle of proficiency, and the reply was: "That son of a gun who skims the milk for you. I've never seen it done so well:"

And Paddy could mislead a visiting Mounted Policeman and make him enjoy it, as on the night of a "swell ball" at Hull's Opera House. The Mountie, according to Bob's telling, was

"Inspector Donnie Howard ... who came down from Edmonton for the affair. Along about 2 a.m., Donnie felt pretty dry and asked Paddy Nolan if there was any chance of hustling a drink anywhere. Paddy explained that the bars were all closed but he knew of a quiet blind pig close by, to which he had the key. A few of the best of them, he said, kept this blind pig for their own use when the Ranchmen's Club was too distant.

"So Paddy led the inspector a short distance up Sixth Avenue, just a few doors West, in fact, and after looking cautiously around to make sure there were no spotters following, walked up to the door of a dwelling and produced a key, unlocked the door and stepped inside.

" 'Don't make a noise,' whispered Paddy. 'Wait here in the passage and I'll bring it to you. No, that's all right - this is on me.'

"After a lot of tiptoeing about in the dark he returned with two horrible snorts of Scotch, which they downed. Paddy listened attentively at the door for a minute or two before venturing to open it again. Satisfied that all was safe, they tiptoed out and returned to the Opera House.

"Next day Inspector Howard happened to be passing along Sixth Avenue with a friend when he espied familiar surroundings.

" 'Say,' said he, confidentially, 'do you see that house with all the trees in front? Looks mighty innocent, doesn't it? Well, it's a blind pig.'

" 'That house over there?' exclaimed the other. 'Why, you damfool, that's P. J. Nolan's residence.' " (October 19, 1918)

(October 19, 1918)

Almost immediately after arrival in Calgary, Bob Edwards set himself up as a critic of civic administration. An opposition, he noted, has an important role in democratic government; and he could see himself doing a service, with that "most popular, semi-'occasional, bimonthly, catch-as-catch-can newspaper west of Winnipeg," as the mouthpiece, keeping Mayor Ramsay's city administration in a state of agitated alert. Local governments were far from being models of decorum and efficiency, and even Calgary's City Fathers left themselves open to criticism. According to the story reaching Bob's ears, when city police made whisky seizures, the Mayor and Aldermen found it necessary, sometimes, to satisfy themselves that the stuff really was whisky, and on occasion felt obliged to retire to a closed meeting and try it over and over again for proof.

Whether that report was correct or not, City Council was to learn that to relax in the discharge of duty was to invite EYE OPENER onslaught. "Instead of another license inspector," the editor proposed after a series of public charges, "the Council should appoint a civic laundryman to handle the dirty linen."

It is a matter of record, however, that Bob Edwards had some genuinely progressive ideas for the future of his recently adopted city. As time was to show, he was right in believing the community was not doing enough by way of planning. He was anxious that Calgary take the lead in preserving the spirit of the Old West; he would have promoted more of industry even at that early period and he was the most ardent booster for the annual Exhibition in the years before the Stampede events became features.