BikerRon wrote:
For the ones that don’t do FB, I snatched this one the other day from RSC’s Page.


A cowboy from Wyoming appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked, "Have you ever done any deeds of particular merit?"

"Well, I can think of one," the cowboy offered. "On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of outlaw bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. Then I yelled, "Now, back off or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!"

St. Peter was certainly impressed,

"When did this happen?" he asked.

"Couple of minutes ago." the cowboy replied.



Merry Christmas.

Too late! Was posted here already.

http://roadstarclinic.com/component/option,com_fireboard/Itemid,187/func,view/catid,14/id,1026716/

My girlfriend and I haven’t had a real fight in a long time, but if I would try anything like the guy in this story, I’d probably have to sleep on the couch for the rest of the year.

One evening last week, my wife and I got into bed. We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says:
“I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that about?!?”

Then she uttered the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch enough with my emotional needs as a woman, for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She saw my puzzled look and said, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I decided to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her “we’ll just buy them all”.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”
She was almost nearing ecstatic satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT??!!!”

Then I said, “Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch enough with my financial needs as a man, for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

I went to the Dr a few days ago and as the examination got under way ol Dr says you have a good body for a 75 year old ! But Doc I said I am only 65 !!! Oh really he said, then towards the end he said I will put you on these tablets as of now and you will take one of them a day for the rest of your life, okay I says looking into the bottle I see 4 tablets and go wow Dr how long do you think I will live ? laughing he says that's only to get you going until you can get to the drug store

.The Poker Player..............

Two couples were playing poker one evening.
Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!
Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?’
Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did.
She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500. 'After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p.m sharp - and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'
With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why, yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.'
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'
Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'
Now that, my friends, is a poker player.