Art thou Beguiled Now?


The Mensual Adventures of Jennifer and Steve


an occasional series forming part of



a cut-out-and keep magazine

for readers of Dispatches from the Poetry Wars







Jennifer and Steve are waiting for Mr. PostMan.

Here he is! And he has good news: a large grant will allow them to

read and lecture in Budapest.

’24 large’ says Steve happily. ‘Hello Harkness my old friend!’.

‘Sounds Tokay to me!’ smiles Jennifer.


Then they turn to the pile of poetry magazines. Eagerly, they read

through Stethoscope, The Anaerobic and AutoCube.

And what’s this? At the bottom of the heap they see the thin and pasty

covers of Ye Poetrie Warres. It is the latest issue, hot from the press!.


‘Oh No!’ says Jennifer, ‘there’s a man here called John who’s

saying bad things about me!’

‘Sonuvabitch’ says Steve, peering over…

‘He’s basically calling you a feckless creep!’

‘I feel threatened!’  shrieks Jennifer, reaching for the Ambien.






Some while later, Steve says: ‘Wait a second….. This guy John- is he connected to the university system in any way? Is he an important druid, sachem, pontiff, kapellmeister or any other kind of professorial quisling in a position to shun or exclude us from the world of poetry as we both understand it…?’


Jennifer picks up her MePhone to check.

‘No’ she says, ‘he is just a civilian’.

‘Then his opinions are of absolutely no importance’ says Steve

‘You’re right!’ says Jennifer, calming down…‘Fuck’im!’.



Outside the sun is shining.

Jennifer and Steve are happy once again.