Shares dropped sharply on the North American Poetry Exchange (NAPX) yesterday, in the wake of the recent NaPo, Inc./Anderwee scandal. There were signs of an end to the carnage, however, as various market players jockeyed to protect their Poetry investments and maintain market shares. One big question mark over the current uncertainty is the position of AvantPo, Intl., whose continued silence echoes loudly, causing nervousness in some quarters.

Last week shares in NaPo, Inc. plummeted drastically after it featured a Commercial Poetry Product by up-and-coming, soon-to-be-champ-and-win-all-the-prizes-poet, Carl Anderwee. Many poetry consumers, however, complained that the poem violated the new PoRules instituted by the NAPX CyberCop Division to purify speech acts, maintain the stability and purity of identity formations, and firmly establish “private property” as the determining definition of imagination’s work. Anderwee’s poem, the critics all agreed, violated every NAPX rule on preserving the purity of Essential ID Voice™.

NaPo, Inc.’s shares fell even further when NaPo Po Directors, on news of the Twitter storm, quickly left their Harvard offices, stripped naked, covered themselves in ashes, marched through Harvard Square whipping themselves with lashes (that legend has it were originally a pellicular attachment to T.S. Eliot’s cats), shouting “Mea Culpa, Mea culpa” while cursing Mr. Anderwee and his terrible product, which they had been tricked into liking by reading it the wrong way.

“We thought it was about the ways the subaltern are forced to perform the work of marginalization,” said the NaPo Directors, in a recent press release. “Then, after a few Tweets from the New Social Purity Party, we realized we couldn’t read it that way anymore. Anderwee had tricked us by having more meanings than we knew in his poem. So we decided to throw him to the mob and run for cover. Except now, there are newspaper articles all over the world making fun of us for apologizing, so we are now thinking of apologizing for making the apology, because that first apology is starting to force us to perform the work of marginalization!”

Unfortunately, the situation gave rise to an opportunity for dissident poets to air their whingy complaints about systemic corruption, Institutional fixes, and poor quality writing. They pointed out that the underlying problem was the corrupt PoMarket itself and its constant production of mediocre material designed to support the widespread industrialization of Creative Writing. Well-known maverick poet and market critic, Johnny Spice, writing in these pages, summed up the feelings of the dissidents. “Cable cars,” he said. “They are all just fucking cable cars.”

Market turmoil and mass poetry sell-offs ensued as Po investors reacted in panic to the radicals’ threat to the system. Investor confidence in the Market, however, was quickly restored by the intervention of former NaPo, Inc., Po Director, Hope Schloom. Schloom restored confidence by immediately changing the subject to Free Speech. The Free Speech defense has become a popular response across the political spectrum to attacks by the New Social Purity Party, even though there is no such thing as Free Speech, which only magnifies its usefulness. Pointing out that she had successfully managed NaPo, Inc.’s poetry production and inventory during its golden years, and marketed many top notch, high quality products that still occupy respectable column inches in anthologies/product catalogs, the former NaPo Director insisted the real problem was not bad poetry and a corrupt system that produces, reproduces, and rewards it. It was Free Speech. Markets responded by rising 10%.

The stabilizing diversion of the Free Speech response was augmented by the additional intervention of the NYTKultureLords, a non-poetry player, but a significant power in the larger Culture Market from which the PoMarket derives its limitedsome might say tiny, like really, really tinyshare of culture capital. Weighing in on the scandal, NYTKL reintroduced the original mass social media mob attacka “firestorm” they called itas the real problem. In an “objective summation” that belittled everyone involved for damaging confidence in the Culture Market, NYTKL neutralized potentially catastrophic dissident grumblings about systemic institutional corruption.

Po Market analysts were positive this morning about an upturn in the market. Analyst B. W. Oughton, a large scale investor in LangPo stocks, pointed to the continued silence from AvantPo, Intl. as a positive sign. “It is significant that we have not heard from Philadelphia,” Oughton said. “It’s an affirmation of their faith that Po evaluations will rise in the long run, including Creative Writing, Ltd., RupiKaur Industries, and the entire Commercial Poetry Product sector, a necessary development for the continued health of AvantPo evaluations.”