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Monday, June 15, 2015




Once upon a time in a very ancient old village, there lived a very tiny little baby boy . He grew up to be not tiny, but full sized, like a regular person, and he always thought that life would be perfectly fine but there was a big problem: everyone picked on him. We won't mention names here. We won't mention who it was. We won't mention the number of times but it was thousands of people, thousands of times and a gazillion bad things happened to this once wee, tiny boy child.

One night, he had a dream and the teacher in that vision said to him, " Make them laugh and then they can't do deplorable things to you anymore." So, tiny as he was, he made them laugh so hard they cried at every holiday: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. They laughed in every school room and in the playground. They laughed at wedding receptions and at funerals because he jumped around and sang and talked in accents. They laughed and laughed and sometimes wet their pants they laughed so hard. They laughed and forgot how to do despicable things to him. It was working, he thought! So over and over he practiced his strategy, not really realizing that he was bullying them back, but with fun!

Let's skip ahead, 50 years, and watch this once wee, tiny boy child now hiding inside a man and see how he uses his gift. Do you want to join me?  Basically, he did not forget to use his secret magical power once he turned grey and tired. Let me give you an example. One fine clear day, an older cousin invited him to lunch, a delicious lunch and yet during their time together, fill in the bland, the name of the cousin, dropped negative bully bombs into the now man's soup, spreading trauma all over his tieramasu and dreadful bad words into his ice tea The daggers of insult followed them both into the parking lot and the man, once boy, said nothing, just smiled, and when he went home and felt the tsunami of pain, he said to himself, " Once upon a time, I knew what to do. I made everyone laugh/love me.  Hmmmm I will have to do the same. I will have to bully her back but with fun and love, just the way I did when I was a wee, tiny one."

So he called fill in the blank on the phone and said, " Oh loving , lovely, gorgeous , beautiful, wonderful and wise cousin. What a wonderful lunch we had and how perfect it was to see you and spend time with you and be mirthful and delighted with you!" And then he heard the cousin's now nice voice say nice things and he thought to himself, " Haaaaaaa you can't hurt me now. I have Aikido-ed you with love-fun and deflected your attack of pain."

Back home, resting on his down and comfortable couch, he realized that there would be more occasions to refine his technique and use his gift of substituting flowers for poison ivy and it came, soon enough!  In fact the bell tolled for him and this time his timing was off and his technique a bit stale and he fell into lawyer mode as he spoke about a misunderstanding with an elder-friend..... immediately defending himself, repeating himself, interpreting himself, making sense of his ill thought out position when a quick, "I'm sorry that I offended you when my "unconscious words," as you call them, hurt you," could have solved it all immediately. Instead, the conversation between them went on and on and heated up and over and it was NOT  win-win even after they hung up the phone and  he thought to himself, "I know how I can win! This elder has unfairly corrected me( of course she thought just the opposite) and won't give in. I won't give in either. Hmmmmm let me appeal to her vanity. I will make a beautiful and lovely picture of her, She loves herself so much. She will love, love and love this and it will make her love, love and love me because she is so vain, vain and more vain and arrogant. So when I send her this picture I made of her, I will WIN! She hurt me, because she said I spoke from  my negative unconscious, but she is so wrong and  I will make her love me!  She bullied me with pain, was unreasonable, and so now, I will "bully" her with love-fun." Problem solved? Not really, because she also felt bullied/misunderstood by him but that is another story, not for now.

To conclude: The elder received his picture of her. She looked real fine in it and for a minute or two, she got so sucked into her ardent love of her own image that he painted and she thought; I look so wonderful, I look  so cute, I look so sweet, I look so young, I am so adored, I look so fantastic, I am so right, he is so wrong, I am so appreciated, I am soooo loved....but then STOP!  Let's play WIN-WIN here. I will not be sucked into this trap! I will let him know that I have smelled out his technique for deflecting my anger and getting me to love him, and now I know what I will do: in the future when anyone makes a painful slip into negative unconsciousness around me, or when a motorist is texting and almost hits me, or when my computer crashes because someone gave me an internet virus, or when trains are conspiracy theoried to collision, or when my body betrays me and cousins insult me, I will also practice the path of "BULLY" WITH LOVE AND FUN.
And from that day forward, all was OK and everyone practiced the "BULLY" WITH LOVE AND FUN  TECHNIQUE and became forever young and beautiful and wise and talented and lived happily ever after in the land of EVERLASTING PLAY. 
Linda Mary Montano
Justice University, 2015


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